Phantom Hope
by AureusVerus
Summary: Harry, after being attacked by voldemort is now a spirit. no one can see him but Snape, who refuses to believe that what he sees is real can Harry convince him To help before it's too late? NO SLASH! Snape Mentor Fic
1. The flames and a spirit

**Phantom Hope**

Hey This is my new story, To tide people over until Dark Angel is updated, and hopefully to let more readers enjoy a great story. I hope you enjoy!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my brain even the computer I typed this with isn't mine.

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Voldemort smirked, he had been right, the link he shared with the boy had led him straight to the boy's home, now the problem that had stopped him 14 years ago would end.

15 year old Harry Potter knew that something was wrong when his head felt like someone had beaten it fiercely, and while the Dursley's were bad they were not quite THAT bad, so only one explanation remained: Voldemort.

Harry ran down the steps with his wand clutched in his hand seeing Voldemort there smirking at him reminded him of Cedric and of the fact that it was his fault Cedric was dead. Only a month after the scene at the graveyard it was all going to end here.

He looked at Voldemort. "So it all ends here." The Dark Lord said coolly.

Harry nodded and noticed that Voldemort did not hold his own wand but that of Wormtail, the loathsome creature that had betrayed his parents and had apparently come to see the end of the Potter line himself.

"As you know our wands will not work on one another due to the Priori Incantatum. I have decided that Wormtail, who so faithfully allowed my return should have the honor of your death from his wand." Voldemort explained before shooting a quick stunner at Harry.

Harry felt like a fool, the final battle had come but he had been hit by the first curse sent at him, he was an idiot. He fleetingly thought of Snape and how every insult about his incompetence had been right.

He looked up, and even though he knew he had no chance at fighting back, he struggled to his feet. He was not going to die kneeling he would stand on his own two legs and face death.

"How noble" Voldemort said malice shining in his eyes, "most beg for mercy by this time."

"I see no point begging for something I know doesn't exist" Harry said evenly, waiting for the inevitable.

"Nonsense in fact I am feeling very merciful, if you join me you needn't die."

Harry was so disgusted by the offer that he spat viciously in parseltongue, "To be in the sssservice of the sssslime of the earth would ssserve to place me lower than that of the murderersss you foolissshly call followersss"

"I see mercy is wasted on the righteous, AVADA KEDAVA!" the last words spun out in a searing green light that brought Harry to his knees but miraculously had not killed him.

Harry looked up again still wreathed in the green light spoke "You speak as if you think it will be easy to rid yourself of me Voldemort but remember this if I die another will stand for all those who have died, your followers aren't the only ones willing to die for a cause."

Ignoring these words Voldemort spoke " I grow tired of this game Potter this time I make sure that not even your ashes remain."

Voldemort strode out the door of the house pushing Wormtail back inside when he tried to follow. "You little fool did you really think I'd brought you with me to honor you? I brought you so I could be rid of you. Weakling you serve as much of a purpose to me as Potter does, but since you did help me return I'll leave you your wand, it won't let you escape before the flames I'm going to cast devour you but you can use it to save the pain of burning to death."

With that he set fire to the house, Wormtail turned to Harry, a look of pure madness in his eyes. "You. You caused this, I'm going to die here but you won't I'm going to bind your soul to this earth and force you to wander the earth never knowing the sweet oblivion of death. _Humos Rues phasma_**_ phasmatis_** _Numquam Liberitas!"_

Using the last of his strength Wormtail cast the spell that tied Harry's soul to the earth and as the flames engulfed the two Wormtail died thinking he had sentenced Harry to a life time of ensnarment, while in reality he had in, trying to damn him, become his saviour. For while Harry's body was incinerated his soul remained untouched and very much alive.

Later the same day:

"My God." Professor Minerva McGonnagol gasped at the wreckage before her.

Albus merely shook his head sadly and nodded to Severus Snape.

Snape, the hated potions master and spy for the order had once again been too late to saveanyone with the information he gained through spying. While he never showed his emotions to anyone except Albus all present at the sight of the attack knew that every death that he had been forced to witness weighed on his soul. This one he had not been witness to, but still the guilt was there beneath the cold mask of indifference.

The Order members scoured the sight of the attack but found no useful information other than the undeniable truth that Harry Potter was gone.

Snape stood on top of a pile of seared timbers when a flash of green caught his eyes; looking in the direction of the light he saw nothing. Shaking his head to clear it, he walked away; obviously his mind was so fatigued that it was playing tricks on him still, he had thought for just a second that he had seen Potter standing there, but that was impossible.

Harry was surprised, for the last three hours he had wandered among the order members hoping someone would see his ghostly form. Obviously someone hated him, as the person who hated him a bit less than Voldemort had looked straight at him. Harry could see that the only way he would ever return to his original form was in Professor Snape. He felt Doomed.

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Short I know but it felt right to end it here it's pretty good I think. But what about you? Do you like it? Tell me in a review! Oh by the way the spell Wormtail used VERY roughly translated means "earth bound spirit never freed" 


	2. reflection and grief

Phantom Hope

Chapter 2

Wow, three reviews already, I am good. But enough about me Sev is awesome; let's get the ball rolling with Chapter 2! Get tissues before you read this one folks.

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Disclaimer: I have a mortal fear of lawyers so please leave me be I am not earning anything but satisfaction of mind from this!

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Severus heard yelling in the direction that had been the front of the house. Since this yelling was annoying Severus went to stop it. 

Harry sighed; he knew Snape had seen him, but only for a split second. Not wanting to stand in his own ashes for much longer, he followed Snape over the piles of debris.

"What happened here!" One irate Vernon Dursley seethed outside the wreckage of his home.

"Unfortunately, there has been an attack. I'm sorry to say that your nephew was killed." Severus let none of his own dislike for Potter slip into his voice as he spoke.

"So the freak finally got himself blown up did he? It took him long enough; of course he would be ungrateful enough to have managed to destroy the house along with him. Tell me, when can we expect to be compensated for the destruction of our home?" Dursley asked.

For a moment Snape simply stood there trying to process what he had heard. When the words and their meaning had sunk in Snape snarled a little, then his voice became far too calm and quiet.

"Compensation? You want compensation? I'll tell you how you'll be compensated MR. Dursley, in fact I'll compensate you right now by not killing you."

"Are you threatening me!"

"No, I'm simply telling you how you are being compensated, because trust me if I kill you, which I'm using every nerve in my body to keep from doing so, I could have as many people as I felt were appropriate swear you left here hale and hearty. Since they'd never find your body there would be no way to contradict me. So, believe me when I tell you that you're being compensated in full for your troubles." Snape said with malice, "Oh, and if you feel the need to bother me or the others here with your petty want of compensation I will not stop until I have cursed you to oblivion, trust me I won't hesitate to do so."

Dursley paled considerably and went to rejoin his family, after rejoining them they left quite quickly.

Harry smiled as he watched his uncle get threatened by Snape, served them right for just leaving him there, they had left the week before on vacation, locking most of the food in the kitchen away. Harry had had to go to the trouble of picking locks just to fill the basic need of food; still he had gotten more food than the Dursleys would have given him.

Meanwhile, Snape was complaining to Dumbledore about how awful the Dursley's had been. While he had finished speaking, the look on Dumbledores face showed Harry how deeply Dumbledore regretted the choice he had made 14 years ago.

"We need to inform the Weasleys and Miss Granger of Harry's death." Dumbledore said quietly

"No, you do I'm not going with you, I am returning to Hogwarts." Severus said, resisting the old man's despair at the thought.

"Please, Severus, I need you there if only as a silent on looker."

Snape nodded, no matter how he tried, Albus always managed to convince him to do what he wanted with relative ease.

Harry froze, how was he going to stick with them if they disapperated? Evidently, just being close to them was enough to pull him along as the scenery melted around them before settling into the familiar shape of the Burrow.

The Weasley's were gathered in the kitchen when Dumbledore delivered the news. Their reactions tore at Harry's heart.

Snape stood in a corner as both Ginny and Mrs. Weasley dissolved into tears, the twins got deathly quite and looked mournful, Ron sat stunned before leaping to his feet.

"What proof have you found?" Ron asked roughly.

"Not much." Snape admitted "And most of what we did find still need to be looked at."

"Then you don't know he's dead." Ron sounded close to hysteria.

"Ron, don't" Ginny pleaded with her brother.

"No, Ginny. Harry's always managed to escape before, why not now?" Ron was grasping at a decreasing number of straws.

"There is no way that Mr. Potter would have been able to escape the House, as it had been sealed prior to being burned to the ground." Snape sounded both angry and somehow mournful at the same time, as if the very thought of Harry's suffering in the fire would stop Ron's rant, but plunge them all deeper into despair, including himself.

"No, I refuse to accept YOUR opinion SNAPE, you don't know Harry. I do and refuse to buy into this contrived ending to my best friends life!" Ron turned andran causing Ginny to cry harder.

No, Snape thought sorrowfully, I didn't know him, until today I had thought him to be a spoiled child who expected to be worshipped by all. What he truly was, was a child who wasn't yet ready to assume the role of Demigod that the world had tailored for him.

Seeing that there was nothing they could do for the grieving family, Dumbledore and Snape left to inform Hermione Granger.

At The Granger Residence:

"He's gone." She said her eyes unfocused and her voice thin.

"I assure you Miss Granger everything you have been told is the absolute truth." Snape said.

Harry was feeling trapped, thus far he had been unable to make Snape see him. He was about to try again when Hermione started to speak.

"The Ministry will be in an uproar over this." She spoke without tone through a haze of pained despair, "By tomorrow no one will remember all the horrible things they said about him, they'll have made a martyr of him. Needlessly, they ignored his warnings but no one will remember that. All they'll remember is what kind words they can say about him after it's too late, they'll thank his soul for showing them the truth without acknowledging they're own guilt."

The words rocked Harry, he had no idea that Hermione had that kind of resentment in her, but grief brought things out in people they didn't know they had in them.

Hermione finally gave into the tears and broke down as Snape turned to the door and strode outside. The tension had gotten to him as he stood in the lengthening shadows.

"Severus?" Albus questioned, knowing something was wrong with the young man.

"It's gotten to me Albus, all the emotions, the misjudgment, the years of pointless hate." Snape for probably the second time in his life broke down.

"Severus, we need to get back to the castle. Then we can talk about this." Albus helped the overwhelmed potions master as he merely struggled to pull himself together.

"Severus, just let go and talk it out." Albus said as he watched the young man struggle. He remembered the last time he had seen the man break down, Severus had been little more than a boy then.

_Albus considered the boy standing before him, a sixteen-year-old warrior already worn from battle. "I need you to let me become a spy sir!" The boy said hotly._

"_There is no reason for you to put yourself in such jeopardy young one" Albus told the child._

"_Yes I do sir," Young Severus, eyes down cast, spoke dejectedly "I need to repent for the things I've already done in the service of the Dark Lord and for what I will be forced to do in the future."_

"_Why must you punish yourself so young one why not leave that life all together and begin anew? You have yet to take a life, you still can walk away from that." Albus said admiring the boy's determination in spite of the topic._

"_I cannot in good conscience do so sir and if you do not allow me this chance to repent I fear what I may do." Severus said his voice wavering the slightest bit._

_Albus felt he knew what the boy would likely do and knew it would be horrible to let a life that had so much promise end like that, so he sighed, "You are bound and determined to condemn yourself when no one else will. I feel it is only right to warn you that by doing this you give up any chance at having the things many people hold dear: Family, Friends, Safety."_

"_I am prepared to give up the dream of things I can never have sir" the young man said sealing his fate._

"_Then you will report directly to me after each meeting."_

_The next week the young boy stood before the headmaster battered, bleeding, and crying._

"_What happened child?" Albus said, fearing what the child may have witnessed._

"_Th-There was a raid tonight sir, on a muggle town, my Father took me to earn experience. We had entered one of the homes and there was a little girl there, only about five, he-he told me to kill her. I-I couldn't but he had no trouble stepping forward to do it himself, I-I couldn't just stand there so I…" He trailed off, and dropped to his knees._

_Albus leaned down and put an arm around him, a teenager a little too thin and a little too pale, and far too devastated to continue without help. "I know it hurts but you have to tell me what happened." He encouraged._

"_I-I killed him." The boy whispered, "I couldn't let him hurt that girl so I killed him." The small form shook all over._

"_You saved her, Severus, you saved an innocent." Albus said to try and calm him_

"_No I didn't, I froze when the others came, they took the girl away with them while I stood there, I just stood there." The boy sobbed out._

"_Severus you tried, I warned you that it wouldn't be easy, do you still wish to remain a spy?"_

"_I have to, to avenge that girl I must push beyond my emotions and continue to save who I can. I won't freeze again and I'll never fail a child in need again, ever." he said with a conviction that only the truly mad or the truly damned possessed._

_Albus watched the small boy rise to his feet, every muscle in his body focused on the strain of it, standing against the pressure and guilt. No matter how long he tried, Albus knew that, no amount of running would allow him to escape the path he had chosen after all, those who stood for the dead ended up, either joining them, or washed in their blood forever trying to atone for sins they never truly committed._

_And as Severus left the Headmasters office there was no mistaking that he was already damning himself._

Albus pulled himself out of the memories as the present Severus sat and rubbed a hand over a face still too pale, and allowed a sigh to escape a body still too thin.

"What's wrong child?" Albus questioned.

Ignoring having been called a child the potions master sighed again, "I can't believe I never saw it."

The simple statement puzzled both the headmaster and the young spirit behind him "Saw what?" Harry wondered as Albus gestured for Severus to continue.

"I never saw the signs of misery, I look back now and it's easy to see the signs of mistreatment the borderline abuse caused by those pathetic insults to the human race."

"He's talking about me…" Harry said dazed, he had spent years denying that the Dursley's had mistreated him, that he really should be grateful for the pale reflection of life they had given him, but hearing someone else say it allowed him to realize that everything he denied was just a pathetic shield to keep him from crumbling.

"I let the vow I made years ago fade in respects to Harry Potter because I hated his father, hated him enough not to see the signs, the malnourishment, the quiet demeanor, the reluctance to look me in the eyes when I yelled at him… Merlin Albus I turned a blind eye to it because I didn't think to look, I accepted a charade, albeit a well performed one, he kept people from seeing what he didn't want them to by showing them exactly what they wanted."

Albus nodded "He showed me a strong well adjusted mask to hide his fear, and he covered the signs from you by showing you a façade of defiance and anger."

"I still should have seen it Albus, seen the misery in his eyes before it was too late, I now doubt anyone but his friends ever saw the real Harry Potter."

"I caught a glimpse of it once, at the end of his second year, a very clever young man, you would have liked him."

"Now it's too late." Severus said as he stared out the window into the endless night.

"Not if I can help it professor," Harry said vehemently, "Not if I can help it."

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WAAAHHH That was a tearjerker huh. I cried as I wrote it and am still feeling a little sniffly. I hope you liked it! Review the story the button is down there waiting to be clicked. 


	3. The Spy revealed

**Phantom Hope**

Wow eight reviews, now that's so cool. I'm glad you like my portrayal of Snape, I mean I wanted the portrayal to be original while still staying true to the real Snape: with a twist! I hope you all liked the flash back last chapter that will come back to play a major role in the future!

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Disclaimer: My initials are not JKR nor will they ever be so this is not mine. Also the Drink Snape has isn't mine either Rime Scotch is the property of ArtemisHowl!

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As loathe as Harry was to admit it he was actually glad that Snape had be the one to see him, despite what had happened in the past, Snape was probably the least likely to panic once Harry figured out how to show himself.

While Harry had been thinking his feet had blindly followed Snape into what Harry assumed were his private quarters. He looked around the main room it was a small but rather… cozy room in earth tones, the lighting was low but not so low as to restrict Harry's vision as he stepped into the room and dropped into a soft chair near the fireplace.

Snape walked back into the room carrying one glass and two bottles of what looked to be alcohol. Harry got up as Snape nearly sat down **through** Harry. The teen did not appreciate the fact at all.

Snape opened one of the bottles, a bit of smoke whiffed out. Fire Whiskey. The second bottle did the same with ice, and Harry had no idea what that was. Harry did know that whenSnape mixed the two the drink turned purple and let out a lot of steam.

Severus did not often drink but he definitely did not want to go to bed with the thoughts he had swirling in his head now. So he had retrieved two old bottles from his kitchen Fire whiskey and Rime scotch, the red and blue liquid mixed to create what was commonly known as a purple element, it was the alcoholic equivalent of being hit over the head with a hammer, still that was better than the dreams, especially with the addition of hurt emerald eyes to the legions of dead, each one a failure another who would never gain justice.

The first sip nearly knocked him flat, Snape had a notoriously low tolerance for the nearly lethal drink in his hand, not that anyone else was any better, the drink knocked most people out.

Severus was nearly half way through the glass when the blurry image of Potter formed in front of him. He shook his head; he hadn't had nearly enough to make him THAT drunk.

"Professor?" Harry questioned, noticing how Snape's eyes locked on his eyes, not through them.

With a smirk Severus nodded "Hello Mr. Potter" he said before shaking his head again, what was he doing talking to a hallucination.

"Professor, I need your help, I need you to help me get back to the way I was." Harry unable to articulate what had happened in his joy at being seen, heimmediately became crest fallen when Snape got up and threw the rest of the alcohol into the fireplace.

"Please professor I'm not a hallucination" Harry said angrily as Snape put the bottles back in the kitchen.

Snape turned to him, the guilt, pain, and sorrow created a maelstrom in the usually empty eyes. "If you are not a hallucination then you are a ghost and far beyond the scope of my ability to help, now whatever you are please leave me be." He let himself collapse into a chair with his head in his hands.

Harry sighed and dropped into a chair near him. "Please sir, I know that it's hard to believe…"

The sound trailed off and for Snape at least the ordeal was over. He got up and went to bed as Harry vented his frustrations invisibly behind him.

"Damn, he thought he was drunk the whole time, Merlin, he **WAS** drunk the whole time! How am I supposed to get him to believe me? I knew this would be tough before but if he can only see me when he's drunk this is going to be damned near impossible." Knowing it was useless to leave Snape's quarters, Harry situated himself on Snape's couch and stared into the flames before slipping into sleep.

The next morning Snape woke and went about his routine without paying any attention to the teenaged spirit behind him. No matter how loudly Harry yelled the words fell on deaf ears.

Later, Snape sat in the headmaster's office going over what they found at the attack site.

"All the order was able to gather was that there was huge power spike after the initial use of the Flame Prison spell, we were also able to gather that the type of magic matched neither Harry nor Voldemort." Albus spoke slowly, "and you Severus?"

"What?" The Potions Master said looking up.

"Your impressions from the site, Severus." Albus looked a little concerned for the younger man before him.

"Oh, Nothing out of the ordinary but…" he trailed off.

"Yes?" Albus wondered what Severus would hesitate to mention.

"It's nothing, probably just fatigue." Snape said. He wasn't sure what to think about it, he just couldn't seem to shake last nights encounter from his mind, he hadn't been THAT drunk. Nad teh day of the attack he had seen that flash...

He was drawn from his musings though when the Floo engaged and Lupin stepped through. He seemed incredibly fatigued and seemed to have lost himself.

"Sirius wants to speak with you Albus." Lupin said unhappily.

Albus nodded before stepping through the floo. Severus followed after retrieving a potion from a cabinet behind the headmaster's desk. Needless to say, Harry followed, not just to keep Snape in sight but to see Sirius too.

What Harry saw was a man who seemed to have lost everything. "I can't keep this up Albus please let me join the fight more actively, I can't stand being trapped here while those I care about die around me."

"You know I can't let you do that Sirius." Albus said with command in his voice.

"Yes I can, I don't care about the ministry anymore, what's the point of clearing my name now?" Sirius spoke almost helplessly.

"How about not insulting the Potters by throwing your life away, you'll only be throwing blood on their graves if you do Black" Snape let just a drop of the old animosity to seep into his voice.

"How do you know what I will and won't do Snivelus!" Sirius spat the words.

"This kind of anger only has two alternatives, you either go on a killing spree, destroying all who had any part in Harry's death in a twisted parody of revenge. Or," He said calmly as the others stared, " if you did manage to get back on active duty in the order you'd probably take more and more unnecessary risks until you got your self killed either way you're still throwing blood on to your godson's grave" Snape smirked, Black was to horrified to answer, let alone protest.

Sirius tried to process what he said and when his addled brain couldn't process the information he did the only thing he could, ATTACK. Luckily, Snape had expected this course of action and brought his own hand upto block.

"See Black, you aren't thinking clearly or would have easily attacked with your wand rather than physically." Snape scorned, his voice acid.

Then like lightning Snape brought the potion he had grabbed and poured it down the stunned man's throat, so stunned he swallowed it instead of spitting it out.

The fight left Sirius's eyes and he sat, Snape turned away from the defeated man hating himself for provoking him just to get a calming potion down his throat and knowing it was the only way one of Severus Snape's potions would pass through Sirius Black's lips.

"Take care of him Lupin, don't let him do something incredibly stupid, it's the last thing we need in this mess." Snape shot the words back as he strode out of the parlor and back through the floo.

Harry was angry and confused. Had Snape just helped Sirius? By yelling at him? He looked at Sirius one last time and wished he could be seen at least long enough to tell Sirius how sorry he was for causing so much trouble. Even as a spirit I'm a burden for everyone. he thought sadly as he dragged himself back through the floo.

If only he knew how wrong he was, soon he would be much more wanted by the one person who never wanted to see him, the only one who could.

Later that day:

"ehhh," Snape looked at Albus, pain in his eyes as he clutched his arm, "He's calling."

Albus nodded. Harry bit his lip, he had a horrible feeling that something was wrong even without the link he shared with The Dark Psycho, he could tell something was off.

He knew that even as a spirit it would be madness to follow Snape, but how much trouble could he get into if he waited by the gate?

At the Meeting:

"Severus what do you have for me?" Voldemort said smiling at the spy in his midst.

"The order is in disarray without the Potter Brat my lord" Snape said the words evenly despite the bile in his throat.

"Well my loyal followers we get to have a bit of fun tonight as I have managed to uproot three spies in our midst, two of them low level pathetics, and one whom has hidden among us for some time under an almost perfect veil of deception. Bring in the two weaklings!"

Snape watched through worried eyes as the two were tortured horribly, he was forced to swallow bile that built up in his throat as he watched.

Finally the two spies were executed and Voldemort turned to his most loyal and Severus.

"I really must congratulate the spy standing before me, I truly thought him to be my most loyal Death Eater." Voldemort let the words slip through his followers and settle on the traitor. "Severus, you've betrayed me far too many times to be allowed to die as simply as those fools did."

Snape figured it was now or never and he sent the most powerful non-unforgivable curse he knew. It ripped through Voldemort's skin and out the other side.

"Now, now, Severus did you honestly think a simple spell like that would kill me?" He hissed the words, as his skin fused back together.

Severus stood feeling helpless, it had only been fifteen minutes but he could hardly stand, if he had been a lesser man he would have collapsed and cried but he was determined to die with dignity, he stood until they broke his legs.

Harry felt very worried as he paced back and forth at the gate to the school. Snape had been gone four hours already, this definitely did not bode well. If someone had asked Harry why he was so worried he would have said something to the effect of just wanting to have the professor get him his body back. But the truth was that he had seen more of the real Professor Snape than any other student and damned if he admitted it but he liked this other Snape.

Meanwhile, Snape struggled to keep his eyes on his torturer, he was going to look his murderer in the eyes when the time came. Fleetingly, he wondered whether there was an afterlife, and, if there was would he be able to see Potter or not, he doubted it, but still he would like to ask him some questions. He mentally questioned why he wanted to see Potter so damned much, he could have lied and said he just wanted answers, or he could be truthful with himself in his final moments and admit that in the past few hours a former annoyance had become simply a child and that child had become… More.

"Stop!" Voldemort said abruptly "return him to the old fool, lay his dying body in front of the school he holds so dear."

Harry gasped when the Death Eaters arrived and dropped a body on the ground. Harry was even more horrified when he realized it was Snape.

Snape looked through his pain-induced haze at a pair of emerald eyes "H-Harry?" He used Harry's first name to question the specter before him.

"It's me Sev-Professor," Harry kept himself from calling the teacher by his first name. "I'm going to find a way to get you to the school but you have to stay awake." Harry knew that they would likely never get Severus back if he slipped away into the oblivion of unconsciousness.

Harry focused all his energy; he didn't think that maybe he couldn't do this, he knew with every fiber of his being that he must DO it. So managing to catch hold of some of his magic andhe pulled Severus to the castle.

"DAMN!" he cursed when he no longer had the energy to pull him; oh how he wished he could be seen, he could tell Severus was fading and could only last a little longer.

In his office, Albus suddenly felt a tug of urgency that took him from his office to the front of the school, he gasped when he saw Severus lying there and as he rushed to get Severus inside and treated, he heard sobbing he was sure of it, or had he merely imagined it?

"Albus where did you find him?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she treated Severus.

"Right outside the main doors, why?" Albus said as he sat worrying.

"Because Death Eaters can't pass through the wards and there is no way he got from the edge of the wards to the school of his own volition."

Harry smiled as he watched from the other end of the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey said it was bad, but that he should wake in a day or so, and be fine in about two weeks, fully mobile in one.

Snape had seen him again and had thought at that moment that he truly had died. He had heard worry in Harry's voice, worry for him? The words spiraled in Severus's subconscious mind, why was he worried about him? Why did he think him worthy of worry?

Albus didn't know what to think, he thanked whatever force had drawn him to Severus and puzzled over the sobs, they hadn't been Severus's or his own but it had sounded like a child, there had been no child there and why would anyone but himself have cause to weep for the hated man?

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WOW another chapter that came out differently I didn't plan it to go like this it jus happened, but what show that was the button below says review and you feel compelled to agree. also Rime is a type of frost anice counter point for fire, no? 


	4. 4: The Martyrs sight

Hey I've been gone a long time eh? I want to apologize to those of you who have waited patiently and I mourn the loss of the ones who won't return. But on with the story!

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**Phantom Hope**

Harry really didn't have much to do. With Snape unconscious for another day and the novelty of floating/walking wearing off he was getting bored. Harry desperately tried to find anything to hold his attention but nothing could see him so there was no interaction. "This is getting really boring." He said to no one.

Harry floated/paced back and forth, though this spirit form seemed to have different rules than ghosts (Invisibility) he also could not touch anything and it made for a frustrating combination. For the millionth time that day he glanced at the unconscious professor. He had calmed since finding the man nearly dead outside the school, he had reacted far more emotionally than he would have thought and wondered how much of that was for his own survival and how much of that was for an actual feeling of 'friendship'; he guessed this was the right word, but can you be friends with someone who can't hear or see you unless he's drunk or near death?

He knew he had to figure out what Wormtail had done but he couldn't clearly remember what he said, and what he could remember made no sense, what did _Phasmatis _mean! (Hey invisible cookies to anyone who translates the spell in chappie one!) "This is so confusing" He fumed as the frustration took him "I can't figure this out and the only chance I have is convinced I'm a hallucination!" Harry was glad at the moment that he could not feel the headache that would have gripped him at this point. Disgruntled he sat and willed himself into the darkness of sleep.

The next day Harry waited with baited breath. (hey, can the dead hold their breath? XD). Today was, hopefully, the day that the professor would wake up. Dumbledore came in around noon apparently hoping for the same thing. For Harry, it was amazing to see these men when they thought no one was watching, Dumbledore put a hand on Snape's forehead and smiled sadly. Normally for these two it seemed to be all business but it was obvious that they're close. Harry had always been a little scared and more than a little hateful of the Professor with no heart or soul but that was wrong now.

Snape woke slowly '_I'm Alive that's good, I suppose. I can tell I'm in the hospital wing by the smell but how did I get here, Potter? But that's not possible I missed my chance to help him even if he was there which was probably just a projection of my own guilt why would he help, someone who did nothing to deserve it. I'm Rambling. Maybe I'm going mad and this vision of Potter is what the guilt has manifested or perhaps it is the reason I am going mad, I'm still rambling...'_ Snape was annoyed that his mind did not seem to be his own. He started to sit up slowly but found the effort too much; he was about to fall back when he felt hands helping him to a sitting position. He smiled slightly as he opened his eyes to see Albus. Harry was there too though Snape did not know that.

"It's good to see you awake child." Albus spoke quietly as he helped Severus. He had been so afraid last night he had grown to care deeply for the stoic young man before him and did not want to lose another "child" in his care for truly Severus had never truly grown up he had just grown older though no one could see it there was still so much of Severus that had died when he was still a boy that the man before him was not whole. Yes Albus cared for him deeply, he would never lose that.

Rather than remind Albus, again, that he was not a child, he simply nodded and rubbed a hand across his eyes. "I'm afraid I won't be of much use now, my spying has been discovered there nothing left." Severus deeply regretted this, though he hated Voldemort with a passion he would be of no use without that position and though he did but a small part it still helped him. (Wow this is emo but I guess you could say it's how he validated his existence.)

Albus smiled and shook his head "Child you sound like they took away your will, as long as you have the will to stand there is something you can do no one is useless."

"Perhaps Albus, but I still failed to complete my mission." His own personal mission had failed as well.

Albus sighed, Severus was fond of this, why did he insist on damning himself he had done nothing wrong.

Both Harry and Severus had done that blamed themselves when they were guiltless they seemed to automatically martyr themselves rather than accept things. It was how they coped with a loss of control, to convince themselves that it was some fault of their own that caused it.

Harry smiled as he watched Snape speak with Dumbledore, he was glad that Snape was alive and that he had someone to help him accept the world. "I must be going crazy, This is Snape I'm talking about." Snape who is mean heartless and cruel, but that didn't seem as right as it had just a few days ago.

"Well Severus I am afraid I have to leave you now." Dumbledore stood slowly, the task ahead the arrangement of a funeral was an awful task in any case but when such a kind and brave young man's light was extinguished it was worse, far worse.

A frown crossed Harry's face as he watched the headmaster leave he seemed so much older now the spark of life had dimmed in his eyes. Harry wanted that light back it had been a warm port in this unending storm. He desperately wanted to return to life to right the wrongs he'd committed an apologize, maybe to begin anew any thing he did not think he could take being a watcher never ending never stopping just watching and continuing. He desperately wanted to avoid attending his own funeral and seeing those sad faces.

It was quite a bit later and Harry was watching with ironic amusement at the scene before him.

"Come now Professor, you are not in charge here. If I say take this medicine you take it!" Madame Pomfrey seemed irate at this point.

"And I am telling you I'm fine, one night bed rest and I'll be back on my feet." Severus truly did not want to spend any more time here than absolutely necessary.

"Perfect eh?" Madame Pomfrey simply pushed her finger into his shoulder and Snape winced "You had multiple broken bones and are going to stay here for a week to recover."

"Now see here…"

"Not a word!" She snapped as she poured the medicine "Now take it before I force it into you!"

Grudgingly, Snape took the medicine, it was probably a potion he had brewed but it did little to calm him.

"This will probably make you drowsy so you may wish to lay down."

Snape ignored her as he sat, but soon he did feel the potions affects and was about to lay down when a blurry image appeared before him, "Why do you haunt me Potter?" he whispered in the dark.

"Professor you can see me! Please listen I am no hallucination or ghost I was made this by a spell that ripped my soul from my body or something please I need you to help me return you're the only one who can see me!" Harry was afraid to stop talking less he be lost again "You can't see me most of the time and I can't communicate but I need your hel…" Harry saw Snape's eyes slip out of focus and and new he was gone again.

Snape could not believe his eye he was seeing Potter again could he really believe this was Potter alive but without physical form? If that was true then he was not too late he could still save him! Even if this was a hallucination, it simply meant he was insane and soon the question of real or not wouldn't bother him at all so it was worth the chance.

"Potter…" Harry turned surprised he didn't know if Snape could see him but he was talking, "I still don't know if you're real or not but I want to help you."

"Thank you professor. You just need to believe."

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Short I know but I couldn't transfer the file home so I had to recopy everything up there and then finish it. Don't worry though I hope to keep this up for awhile!

"Those who break the rules are trash but those who abandon their friends are even worse!" - Obito Uchiha


	5. List and Tears

Hi, I said I was going to keep typing, and here I am! The story is getting good. I love the reviews and hope I keep getting them they help a lot thanxs!

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Disclaimer: It's not mine, none of it, but if I am given the choice I want Sev!

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**Phantom Hope**

Severus sat up slowly the next morning as the sun filtered through the windows. He was alone in the hospital wing, as far as he could tell anyway. "Potter." He ventured as far as to say the name out loud.

"I can't answer you professor." Harry said almost off handedly, he was sitting on the edge of the bed next to Snape's and was casually swinging his legs back and forth. He wanted to do something but couldn't so even though he tried to sit calmly he really just wanted to kick something. (Which he can't do cause he's not solid)

'Potter said that normally I can't see him, so there must be a state that I have to be in to be able to see him.' Severus pondered this, there would have to be some experimentation so he took pen to paper to organize what he knew.

What I know:

1. I can't see or hear him normally

2. I saw him 1st out of the corner of my eye

3. That was at the attack sight

4. The next time I saw him after drinking

5. I was drinking a Purple Element (Remember I said it was the alcoholic version of being hit in the head with a hammer - )

6. I was _slightly _drunk

7. The third time I was near death

8. He was able to save me somehow

9. The fourth time I was under the influence of a potion

"What do these things have in common" Snape wondered aloud.

"Well two of them have nasty after affects…" Harry muttered leaning over the Professor's shoulder

Things in common

1. I was in a less controlled state the second and third and forth time

2. Each time I had dropped the barrier around my mind

Snape looked up at this and tried lowering his guard but when nothing happened he returned to list writing.

3. I was under the influence of chemicals each time

Snape thought about that item. 'Yes, even when my system was clean, there may have been an inordinate amount of adrenalin or another chemical in my body."

4. I was only able to see him for a short time

5. I cannot tell if he is here or not

Snape sighed "I can see him when I drink but I can't just get drunk until I find a way to bring him back, that would cause far to many problems."

Harry laughed at Snape's musings, no matter how bad it would be for Snape to get plastered it still would be funny to see.

"There has to be a specific chemical pattern that allows me to see him." Snape muttered.

"Now we're talking Professor! Let's find out about it right now!" Harry said enthusiastically and just a little sarcastically.

Snape sat still thinking, 'Potter needs to help me, but I can't see him unless I, theoretically, change my brain chemistry. But is there a way to do that without impairing my abilities?

Harry sighed as he watched the professor think, it was almost as boring as when he was unconscious, but at least they were slowly making headway now.

Albus walked in as Snape was thinking. "What troubling you child?"

"I am not… never mind. I'm simply thinking Albus." Snape sighed; it was obvious that Albus would never stop calling him that so it was better not to argue.

"What are you thinking about, if it's a problem, perhaps I could help?"

Snape had a quick internal debate over whether to tell Albus what was going on. Though, he knew that he would believe him he didn't want to talk to him about this without proof. If this didn't pan out and he really was crazy then this would be a horrible let down not to mention he would have to live with the fact that he had hurt him.

Albus looked closely at Severus. Something was bothering the young man in front of him but he couldn't tell what it was, could this be the same problem that he had seen on his face since the attack? Albus talked a little more but soon realized that Severus was not in a talkative mood and left.

Harry sighed, he was finding out how it felt to be a wall or even a pet, they were there listening to every word but they couldn't add anything. He **really** hated this feeling. Just three months ago he would have said this was a dream come true, there would be no way for the media to hound him or for the Slytherins to laugh at him, no way for anyone to yell at him, call him useless or a freak. Now, he saw how wrong he'd been. Harry gave into emotion not just what he felt now but everything, the years of mistreatment and hatred, the times at home, at school, in life and now the sorrow, the fear, the pain. It was just too much for this young man to take and he allowed himself to fall. He let the tears flow there was no need to put on a strong front now, no one to please or deceive just him.

Snape looked up he thought he heard crying, "Potter?" He questioned as the sun set outside.

"P-pr-Professor?" Harry looked up though tear-stained eyes.

"I can hear you but not see you" Snape whispered not wanting to draw the attention of the nurse who was in her office.

"I'm sorry for asking you to do this but you're my only hope!" Harry blurted this out without thinking about the repercussions. Then he faded from view again.

Snape was stunned; he had known that Harry would need him to return but to be his only hope… Facing this Snape expected to feel panic, He, the always-unsympathetic potions master, but he felt, emboldened to know that Potter could find it in him to trust him without reason it made him feel… Vindicated. It was amazing. "I will help you Potter, that is the promise of a lifetime." Snape said the words quietly, but they still reached Harry's ears.

Snape turned and added one last item to his list

10. EMOTION

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O.O Wow that was so cool! I had no idea that was going to happen. My hands moved by themselves, now your hands ar moving to the reveiw button.

"I know you only hurt yourself out of spite, I guess you'd rather be a martyr tonight" - Billy Joel


	6. Insanity and forbidden spells

Hey! I'm so happy I'm getting great reviews and loving it! Keep it up folks and I'll type away in study hall. In fact, that's where I am right now let's see how far I get.

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Disclaimer: I want Sev and would do just about anything for him. Still, he's not mine, This idea is my only property

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**Phantom Hope**

Severus calmly assessed the situation. The hospital wing would be empty for at least another ten minutes. Plenty of time to escape, he smirked this would be easy. "Potter if you are within earshot, we're leaving."

Despite the fact that he could stroll out at anytime without being noticed, Harry still felt a rush of adrenaline at the prospect of sneaking out. Oh, he had dreamed of this, at least he had dreamed of doing this. Leaving while he should still be under care of Madame Pomfrey. He couldn't wait to see this.

Snape looked out into the hall, as expected it was deserted. Snape strode out; there was nothing to it, he was after a trained spy, the shadows embraced him like an old friend and he slipped in and out of them flawlessly. He was almost to the dungeons when he saw her: she was, as yet, unaware of his presence and he intended it to stay that way. He quickly turned down a set of stairs just as she saw him, but he was gone before she could catch up.

Madame Pomfrey looked down, she had known Snape would do this and that he would easily avoid any attempt she made to make him return. She sighed there was no reason to exert herself if there was no gain. As she turned she noticed a piece of paper. "The professor must have dropped this" she leaned down.

She read:

I can't see or hear him normally

She gasped as she read the list. This was very worrying, could this be a side affect of the torture the professor had endured? Or the result of years of extreme stress he had lived with. Reading the list it became obvious that the man had gone insane. Who could she go to with this? The headmaster was far too close to the professor to be objective. Then it came to her she would ask Professor McGonnagol; she would know how to approach this.

Severus smiled as he settled into his own quarters once again, now he could think. "Emotion…" he spoke the word quietly "It has to be a key part of this puzzle, but how did it fit? Is it a trigger, a catalyst? There are too many factors here." He sighed this was obviously going to be difficult. He glanced around the room; he had no choice but to assume that Harr… no Potter was in the vicinity. He wondered at how easy it had been to say Harry, and he had corrected himself in his own mind, why? _You're starting to care._ A voice whispered. Those words scared him, he had spent the last, Merlin, it's been 18 **years**, he'd spent that entire time cutting off emotion, and he'd cared for no one in that time, his only friend being Albus. If he began to care now, he would be open to so many more emotions and if he let them out he would have to let the effects of those in. He had cut them off to avoid the pain that was always caused. He had thought that no feeling was better than the bad ones that always had plagued him. But now, he was starting to enjoy the feelings that came when he thought of caring for another, could he risk the bad for a chance at the good? Was he strong enough? He decided that these questions should be left to the philosophers to discuss, his problem was much more a matter of science and that was where he excelled.

Two hours later he was in one of the numerous potions labs in the dungeon. He had many volumes of text on everything from ghosts to invisibility spread out and was currently up to his neck in ancient spells none of which fit the problem. "There is no documentation of this spell or how it is cast, nothing at all."

"Wait," He muttered, he looked up as he remembered something, "The attack report says there was a power spike right after the initial flame spell, a spike that came neither from Potters wand nor Voldemorts, it's possible there was a second victim of the flame spell, and it is this third variable that cast whatever spell that is causing the trouble!"

"Oh Thank Merlin!" Harry smiled he was amazed at the deductive powers the professor had "Finally we've made headway!" He was exhilarated. He felt like he really had a chance to return now.

At the same time as Harry's feeling of happiness, one professor felt nothing but worry. "Are you sure about this Poppy?" Minerva McGonnagol questioned the Hogwarts nurse.

"I've shown you that paper, what sane man believes he has visions of the dead, and we both have to admit that Harry Potter is dead. There is no possibility that he escaped that fire." Pomfrey was convinced that she was correct on this matter.

"But, Severus always seemed so, controlled…" Minerva mused, "Why now?"

"It could be the torture he was subjected to when he was caught as a spy, or it could be that his mind simply couldn't handle the constant stress he's been under for the last 18 years and it finally broke him." Pomfrey was worried; Snape at best was cold, callous, and cruel, you add insanity to that and you have one very unstable mixture. She did not want anything to happen then that could be prevented now.

"Perhaps I should talk to Albus about this he really should know…"

"No, he's too close to this, he loves him like a son. He wouldn't look at this objectively." Pomfrey was very afraid that Albus would turn a blind eye to this to avoid the hurt that something like this could cause. Normally, she trusted the Headmaster completely but; He did care for Snape like family and it's easy to ignore flaws in your own family.

"Perhaps, but we need to observe the situation, I am returning to Hogwarts tomorrow, I'll keep an eye on him then." Minerva did not like the sound of this, if they were right there was madness within one of the strongest wizards either of them had ever met, and if they were wrong they were facing the fury of one of the most powerful wizards they probably would ever meet. Minerva was worried now but she was also scared.

" I'll keep an eye on him too, we cannot afford to ignore this!" Pomfrey spoke with conviction she was certain she was right.

Snape sat at his desk it had taken 3 hours but he finally had it. The spell used was a closing spell it could only be used one by the casters and usually cost the user his ability to cast or in some rare cases the user lost his life. It sounded just right; if there was a second victim he would have known his life was over and that there would be no better time to get some twisted form of revenge

But how to find the exact spell? All closing spells are forbidden, few people still knew they existed; such was the secrecy around them. To even look at the vault you needed to have the approval of the Minister of Magic, The head of the Wizengamut, the chief of the Auror office, and the head of the department of mysteries. " Damn, how did a deatheater get a hold of a spell this powerful?" that was a question he'd have to answer soon, but to solve it he had to speak with Potter.

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Oooh cliffie! It's about to be really exciting folks, next chapters gonna rock trust me! I can't wait to right it, Review!

"All men think all men mortal but themselves" – who knows?


	7. Purple and memories

Hey, I know Sev would probably not lose that paper but he didn't want to get caught Pomfrey can be scary! Still he's going to realize that he lost it today and remember something that could change the story! Language warning! Also this as in past chapters assumes that Severus's Father is a wizard despite what we've read.

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Disclaimer: Why oh why can't I have him! I could care less about the books but give me Severus! Oh well, I still have a little statue of him .

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**Phantom Hope**

Severus looked through his pockets "Damn it! I lost it!"

Harry looked at him, he must be really be stressed to be cursing.

Severus took several calming breaths to calm himself. He had to keep his cool. "Ha, I forgot Emotion is a key." He then went into his kitchen, it was a spacious room, but it was seldom used. He went to one of the cabinets and pulled out the two bottles of alcohol. "Merlin, I really don't want to do this."

"I don't either." Harry smirked the last thing he needed was Snape to get drunk but hey, if it worked!

Severus poured the two drinks into a goblet and watched it steam, he then lifted the swirling purple drink and took a single gulp… "Merlin!" Severus shook his head, it had really been a long time since he had tried to chug a Purple Element, and he wondered if it would have been easier if he'd just given himself a concussion.

Harry laughed as he watched Snape suffer at the hands of alcohol (Public Service announcement Drinking is BAD for you) Snape looked up "I can hear you now you know."

Snape looked faintly green but at least he could see him "Shit, I have to find a better way to do this!" He knew he was going to have an awful headache tomorrow and wondered if he had any hangover potion on hand, he doubted it.

"Professor, I'm sorry that you had to drink that, it doesn't look at all… pleasant." Harry looked at the empty glass and winced, he decided then and there to avoid an Element forever.

"Harry, what do you remember about the attack." Severus needed to know whatever he could.

"Well I lost to Voldemort and he was going to kill me with Wormtail's, he was there by the way, wand but the killing curse didn't work." Harry told him.

"That would be because Wormtail owed you a wizards debt and that is a contract so binding even death cannot break it." Severus explained.

"Oh, well Wormtail was sealed in with me and he was the one who cast the spell, it hurt a lot, though I'm not sure if that was the spell or the flames." Harry looked down at this point the thought of that fire made him feel awful he would never forget the sight of those flames rising to consume him.

"Harry, focus what did he say." Snape looked Harry in the eyes, without confidence none of this would work.

The sound of his first name, emboldened him "He said," Harry's brow furrowed as tried to remember, "I can only remember one word **Phasmatis**. But I don't know what it means."

"Phasmatis, Phasmatis, why does that sound so familiar?" Severus focused and tried to remember, through a haze of past and present a memory came to light:

"Severus, are you listening?" Tobias Snape looked down at his son; he was too young yet to tell if he had the power to continue the Snape line but he had potential. 

"_Yes father." Severus looked up at his father he wanted to be a good boy and please his father, but he didn't like what his father told him._

_"Good. Today I'm going to tell you of the greatest Snape family secret, one of the forbidden spells. These spells are very powerful and the Ministry has taken most of them, but this one survived. The Phasmtis deligo (Soul Bind) takes a person and binds them to the earth their body rots and dies but their soul lives on invisible."_

_"If they are invisible how do you know that they're there?" Severus asked it seemed awfully fishy to him._

_"We can see them, but only when our blood, Snape blood, Ancient blood, flows through us at an increased rate." Severus's Father smiled, he hoped that Severus saw the power his family held and dedicated himself to increasing that._

_"So we can see these… phantoms through an influx of adrenaline and epinephrine." Severus mused; even at a young age chemistry was a passion._

_"Damn it! Severus I told you to leave that chemistry stuff alone! I will not allow you to pursue an intrest that is borderline **Muggle!** You are a wizard and you will act like one!"_

_Sevurus sat through his father's rage, he knew better by now than to talk back, that would only make it worse._

"Son of a bitch, even dead he manages to mess with me!" Severus rubbed his hands roughly over his face.

Harry moved back, even intangible; he didn't want to be on the receiving end of the man's temper.

Severus's mind froze when he saw fear in Harry's eyes he's afraid the words hissed in his mind and Severus's temper instantly died.

"Harry, Harry listen to me, I'm not angry at you, I just remembered something and it wasn't pleasant." Severus realized with a jolt that it hurt to see the child in front of him scared.

Harry looked up as if looking for truth in Snapes eyes he sounded sincere and the emotions were plain on his face Severus hadn't been angry with him.

"Harry you're fading again. Listen I know what spell he used but I don't know how we'll find it. It's been missing for almost 20 years." Severus felt angry with himself now the one spell they needed was one of the things that he had refused to take when his father had offered it. For all he knew it was still sitting on a desk somewhere at Snape manor. He'd see to that on Friday he had several staff meetings tomorrow even with Harry Potter gone the school year would still begin in a month and a half it was time to start working on the coming year. Severus, for one had several lesson plans to finish, but he was going to put that off for a while, this was far more important. Still that would have to wait right now Severus really needed to lie down before the alcohol did it for him.

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HEHE he's drunk! o yay another chappie what you think of the secret? I really didn't know what to do to advance the plot so I put this in here to give it a push. I hope you like it. Either way tell me in a review

" Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educates et nimis propinquus" (If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated and much too close." – some guy named beard?


	8. Meeting and musings

Wow it's been a while not as long as usual but long. I had actual work to do weird since I only have four classes a day but oh well. Today we have a lot of ground to cover so let's start.

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**Phantom Hope**

Severus was not having a good morning; there had been no hangover potion in his inventory so he'd had to simply go without until he'd finished brewing more. Then there was the fact that he'd had no breakfast. Now he was walking in to the first of three meetings, which really would be one very long meeting with two breaks in between. He strode in, his robes flaring back in the usual impressive manner, waved a hand in an unconcerned quarter-circle by way of greeting. He then dropped into his seat to the left of the headmaster's and sighed as he rubbed the space between his eyes his hangover had not completely dissipated and it was taking its own sweet time calming down.

"Are you all right? Severus, you look ill." Minerva asked scanning the younger professors face, she saw no sign of the madness that Poppy had spoke of. Still, Tom Riddle had looked handsome and charming in his youth, and he was off his nut too.

"I'm fine Minerva, I've not been feeling well lately and it's been hard to sleep." It was only a half-lie, he hadn't been sleeping well, but he never did.

Minerva was surprised, Severus usually didn't give up that much information willingly. Could he really be losing his mind? He had been an amazingly bright student and always driven, now he seemed to be weary, he was not as alert as usual, Poppy had said that he would be distracted often and he certainly seemed that way now.

"Before any school business, I would like to ask any of you if we have any conclusions about the Death Eater attack last week." Albus looked at the group around him each a teacher but also trusted Order members, trained observers. But, none of them had anything to say. Albus looked to Severus, he was writing on a piece of paper, in latin. _Phasmatis_. "Severus, do you have any ideas?" Albus asked the young man.

"… oh, yes I believe that the second spike of magic came from a second victim sealed in after the attack." Severus said the words slowly, he wanted to help the Order but it could hurt his efforts to give away too much information too early.

"You do? Why, it easily could have been Harry himself trying to escape." Lupin, who would be returning teaching this year. He was miserable because of losing another person he cared about and Sirius was doing badly as well.

"No, we checked that the magic didn't match either Harry or Voldemort. But still, it is unlikely there was a second victim as all muggles and people close to Harry were accounted for." Minerva said, looking at the reports.

"But, not all Death Eaters were accounted for. Voldemort often brought witnesses when he conducted executions. He also went there with the intent to kill, if the Death Eater there was unsatisfactory it would be nothing for him to leave him inside as he sealed the house." Severus spoke with conviction, he didn't really know what this would bring but Albus's peace of mind, he couldn't tell his mentor about Harry yet but he could tie up some loose threads on the case.

"That is a possibility, but it still seems far fetched." Minerva said, these claims Severus put forth were within the realm of possibility but not logical with the data they had available. She became very worried, if he was slipping this much already, his logical mind in disarray, how would he hold up once school started and stress began?

If Minerva had stopped to think over her thoughts a second time she would realize that half of the belief she now had was based on misconception and the other half was blind faith in Madam Pomfrey's conclusions.

"Perhaps." Severus simply shrugged, if no one believed him that was their problem. He had told them the plain truth.

"On to business, new policy for the school." Albus led them into academics and work but he kept an eye on Severus.

He wasn't really following the discussion at this point, it was 45 minutes into the first part and Filch had insisted on reading the revised list of contraband, most of which would be totally ignored by the staff and all of which would be ignored by students. He was currently perusing a blueprint of Snape Manor. It was a large and confusing building with almost as many tricks to it as Hogwarts, when you compared number to size. He had circled several likely locations and crossed out the most unlikely trying to narrow his search. It was still not taking a significant amount of space away from his search though.

"Severus, do you have anything to add?" Albus asked, this was the second time he had asked, as he hadn't been heard the first time. He was starting to worry about the child (He'll never stop thinking of Severus that way ) He never ignored anything but something seemed to be troubling him, something he wouldn't tell him, the only person he'd ever trusted.

"What? I'm sorry I didn't hear you, but no, I have nothing to add." Severus said before returning to the all but illegible notes he was taking on what he remembered about his father and the house he hadn't lived in since he was a child.

Minerva was alarmed; She had never seen Severus zone out, it just wasn't like him. She had known him since his first year of Hogwarts and this was the first time he'd been inattentive. He always knew what was going on around him even if it bored him, he always knew, even when he was doing something else, what the others in a room where doing. He really did seem to be losing himself just as Poppy had said. This was worrying; she would have to end this before he lost himself completely. She also had to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt there was no way she was going to put her self in this position unless she were certain that he had lost it.

It was the fourth hour and everyone was growing weary of the constant onslaught of work. This was the worst part of teaching especially for Severus and even more so now, he had hoped that this meeting would be shorter than usual so he could start searching Snape manor, no such luck.

Harry was walking the halls, he had been at the meeting but found himself bored beyond belief. Not that wandering the halls was much better, the school was empty and there was nothing interesting to do. Harry realized with a jolt that he'd never even been this bored with the Dursley's there was something about being removed from everything, this feeling tied his emotions in a knot, he was so tired of this, it had only been a week and some odd days but he was already tired off being so alone, he'd always felt alone but now he truly was and he wanted out of this wide open prison, he wanted to talk to Sirius he wanted to laugh with Ron even argue with Malfoy but all that was gone, right now he needed to trust a man he never thought he could get along with but now seemed to depend on. How odd it was that it was not until he had become invisible that he had truly been seen.

"I think that is all the business that we have to discuss at this time, I would thank you all for taking this time I know it is not most interesting things to do but it is necessary, personally I find them interesting but…" Albus trailed off, he looked at Severus, he kept glancing at his papers and his watch, he had never seen him this impatient and he wondered what it could be, " Severus, would you mind staying for a few moments I would like to speak with you."

"…Yes, of course." Severus agreed but wasn't exactly thrilled he wanted to work on a potion that would hopefully allow him to see Harry without the after affects alcohol had.

Albus And Severus moved to a sitting area off of Albus's office. "You seem distracted, is something wrong?" Albus was genuinely concerned for Severus he never told the boy how much he cared for him, like a father, he worried whenever Severus wasn't doing well.

"I'm fine it's just…" Severus found it so hard to lie to the man, he really wanted to tell Albus the truth he owed him so much. Albus had taken him in after he'd killed his father. Well, officially he'd been a ward of the ministry but Albus had done more for him as he'd grown than the ministry had. He had come to trust and even care for the headmaster, but it was too soon just too soon.

"Please, talk to me. You haven't been yourself recently, I need to know why." It was almost a plea, Albus had lost Harry and now it seemed as if Severus was slowly slipping away. He would never admit it and no one would expect it not even Severus, but he was scared, of losing the war, or even of winning if this was the price, he'd lived a very long time and had seen many friends move on but few had meant as much to him as the young man in front of him. He did not like the way this war was going he had almost lost Severus once and the minister was trying to pull the school out from his control he needed answers before things got worse. (Wow I'm really piling on the angst aren't I?)

"Albus, I can't tell you much but I'm… pursing a line of investigation on my own. It has to do with the attack and could show an interesting turn of events if I'm right, I just need you to trust me when I say I'm working on this and that's why I've been acting strangely. Just trust me." Severus with that simple request had said more than most. He never asked anyone to trust him; he often felt that trust was overrated, now to be asking for that trust was the same as him saying he trusted as well.

These sentiments moved Albus and he suddenly felt much more at ease, "All right, I trust you, but please don't get your self in trouble and above all be careful."

Severus smiled at this point; it was a devilish grin that he hadn't felt in a long time "Aren't I always." He said sarcastically before making his retreat.

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Short I know but good. I'm so happy this is going so well and I may be able to make a double long chapter over winter break. If I don't then I hope you have happy holidays!

"Did you just throw my shoe out the window?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because it was interesting." – It really happened in my social studies class XD!


	9. the gateway to hell

Hi You lucky peoples get another chapter now it's a good one with intruige but the best is yet to come.

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**Phantom Hope**

Severus smiled as he looked at the vial, the liquid inside swirled slightly, it was a pale blue potion that, if Severus had brewed it correctly, would allow him to see Potter for a full twelve hours. It was currently 8 a.m. and that gave him until 8 p.m. to get back. It probably wasn't going to be enough time. Severus knew the **most** likely space for the scroll to be was in his father's office. It was the last place he wanted to go, that room was always what he'd imagined hell was like, he was probably going to spend eternity there, he didn't want to enter while among the living. Of course if he wanted to bring

Harry back among the living he had to.

He swallowed the potion in one gulp and nearly gagged **nearly** a potion master** never** gags but he wanted to. Of all the things he'd brewed and all the potions he'd invented he had never tasted anything so foul. He looked up and saw that Harry was laughing.

"What is it Potter?" Severus said sourly.

"The… haha look on your… ha Face!" Harry couldn't bring himself to be scared the moment was to funny Severus's eyes had bugged when he'd first swallowed that stuff and he had looked like he'd swallowed a slug.

"We all have our undignified moments Mr. Potter, mine just happen to be funny."

Harry shut his mouth not because Severus had said something but the fact that there had been no unkindness, even a hint of laughter in it.

'Yes Harry, I can laugh', Severus thought with an inner smirk his mood had lightened and he hadn't caught himself or corrected his own mind when he thought of Harry by his first name.

"Come we have much to do today, at my manor." Severus had said that over his shoulder and was now heading down the halls.

They were about to leave when Harry spoke, "Wait you have a Manor."

"I told you that five minutes ago and you just now ask about it, Mr. Potter?" Severus asked he found the situation amusing.

"Well it didn't really seem strange until I remembered that you seemingly live here at the school."

"I don't like my house it'd never been a home. And I haven't lived there since I was your age. I really don't care if the place falls to the ground I took anything I cared about away long ago."

"A manor must mean you family's pretty high up huh?" Harry said with a slight smirk, Snape always looked like an aristocrat and you don't get that kind of "grace" by living in a school on a teacher's salary.

"My family lost its reputation two generations ago, and I have long given up hope of clearing a name that's had blood thrown upon it for 50 years."

"Oh okay, I guess that explains why you live here, A house can't be home if you're not happy there." Harry said those words while looking at the sky.

Severus could tell that he wasn't saying that and just talking about him he was talking about himself to.

Minerva leaned against a wall she had hid quickly when she saw Severus coming her way. She had turned into a cat as the man had an annoying way of telling when people were around. What she had heard had clinched it for her. He thought he was talking to Harry Potter about his past, which he revealed to no one, he had to have lost it and that scared her. She had to stop him. He needed help.

She went to Albus "Albus, I'd like to talk to you about Severus I'm worried about him."

"Don't be I spoke to him yesterday and he explained the whole thing. Now if you will excuse me I have errands to attend to."

"But Albus I don't think you understand…" Minerva started but was quickly cut off.

"Minerva it is likely nothing and can wait until I get back which will likely be tomorrow." He swept out of the office leaving a nervous Minerva behind.

'I have to stop him for his own good, before this becomes dangerous.' Minerva quickly left the office.

"Poppy, I'm afraid you were correct in your assumptions. I fear Severus has taken leave of his senses." Minerva said, she had no idea how to fight the potions master. Many thought that he used potions because he was ill adapted to magic but the truth was he was a terrifying duelist with great skill he could likely teach any subject at the school although potions were his true passion.

"I am saddened by this turn of events, I had hoped this wouldn't be necessary. We will have to stop him. Ourselves." Poppy said, her voice more determined than it had ever been.

Minerva's eyes narrowed and she nodded curtly this would take careful planning and execution the damned and the mad always fought the hardest and Severus seemed to be both.

Severus, at this moment was staring at the sky it was an uncharacteristic murky gray as if it had changed to match the mood of the visit. "Come on h-Mr. Potter we have little time to gawk."

And indeed that was just what Harry was doing he had only seen houses this big in movies. It was not a house but a mansion the only thing that dwarfed it was Hogwarts itself.

The stepped through the large door way and into the main hall. The walls were lined with portraits of people who were obviously other members of the Snape family. They all had the same grace and fallen angel eyes but their looks were marred bye an air of malice.

"Not here…" Harry muttered, staring at the wall.

"What was that?" Severus looked over his shoulder to see Harry scrutinizing the wall.

"You aren't." Harry said quietly.

"I wouldn't be just as many of my older ancestors aren't they didn't follow the fire and brimstone paths of my more immediate relatives, now I'm the last and the line will end. I'm almost relieved the Snape name is no longer what it once was."

Harry looked at Severus he didn't sound it but Harry could see a deep loneliness in his eyes and found that he did not like seeing it there.

They continued through twisting corridors and hidden passages. Until finally…

"Here we are." Severus said not sounding at all enthusiastic. They stood before an ornate door that was inset with what seemed to be Dante's Inferno.

Harry couldn't repress the shiver that raced up and down his spine. If this door was just a passage, what could wait beyond…

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Dun Dun duhhh I love cliffies don't you! - I will probably update next week I got this one late and shorter than planned because I was sick but here it is 


	10. The Devil

Time for more stories time for lots of dark imagery guys. Be ready. It's exciting!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing not the computer I'm typing on, the characters I write about or even the Chair I am sitting in.

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**Phantom Hope**

Severus stared at the inferno raging in oak on the door. His Father had liked to talk of where various victims of the Dark Lord would be on the door. Unsurprisingly, most of them had committed no sin yet still deserved the deepest of hells layers. He clutched the handle, a heavy knob made of bronze and it turned with almost painful slowness. There was a rush of rank air that smelled of death and Severus knew: He had entered Hell. The room was large and actually comprised of three floors like a library. There were shelves of dark items and darker volumes and at the other end was the devil's desk, he had sat there deciding death with every stroke of the quill. He had been here often when he was young and then everything had screamed of the dark deeds done there. There were stains on the floor, rugs that were marred with what had once been life or at least existence. The deep stains were painful reminders of dark times he refused to remember.

"Professor?" Harry spoke the word quietly, cautiously, he was slightly scared now, Severus had frozen after only two steps into the room he had become very still and his pupils had dilated. Classic signs of fear. Harry wasn't sure what to think of that, he had unconsciously began drawing on Severus for strength and Harry knew the feelings that the professor seemed to be feeling all to well. He wasn't sure if knowing these things, likely secret things about the usually stoic man. He had seen so much emotion and light and shadow in the older man that he wasn't sure whether it made him respects him more or just understand him more. It was likely both but one thing was sure he wasn't going to find it easy to go back to the way things were. He liked the new Severus and it hurt to know that once he had his body back that it would all go back to the way it was.

"I… I'm fine." Severus forced the words and the calm sheen to override old feelings that had no place in the present. He scanned the room it was the same as it looked when he was a child but he was in charge here now.

"I don't like this" Harry intoned, uneasy "It just feels wrong there's something in the air even insubstantial, I can feel it." He shivered.

"I know but don't let it get to you the demons in here are long since dead." Severus moved swiftly to the desk. He had seen many a scroll here through the years, many of those yellowed with age. But the desk seemed frozen in time the remnants of a letter his father had been in the middle of writing on the desk. He read:

_Our Holy war worsens each day but I sense we have the upper hand. The old fool and his false army will fall and our revolution will be complete, I continue to lend my families extensive library of lost arts to our efforts but there are more spells, ones that can only be safely done by those in my family and those that while powerful require the casters sacrifice. I hope that it will be done with swiftly so that we may move on to the second part of our domination: Purification once we purge this world our lord will reward us beyond our wildest dreams. On other topics I am disappointed in my son he will not listen to me I keep telling him that his pursuit of sciences are against the pure world we strive for but he will not regress I will deal with him shortly whatever happens he will follow us one way or another._

Severus blinked several times, that was where the letter ended. Thank Merlin. His father had been considering taking drastic steps to 'correct' him but he had ended his father's life before those actions had been taken. He looked across the desk and froze. The ink in the well on the table was wet not dry, as it should have been. He immediately ascertained Harry's position and scanned the room. There, the second level was a person, a death eater. And he was grinning. "Hello Severus, I hadn't expected you to ever come here again."

"No…" Severus muttered. "No."

Harry gazed at the death eater he had never heard that deep voice before and it was full of hatred. This was not good.

"You're dead." Severus ground out.

"You'd be surprised how flexible death is, Severus. Our lord escaped death and so did I." The man had dead gray eyes that showed nothing.

"No… death is irreversible, you cannot be here." Severus had drawn his wand and was glaring straight at the man as he descended from the second level to the first.

The man laughed and with a single fluid movement removed his mask to revel a dark reflection of Severus. "I can't die, you keep me alive in your memory so I'm always there. Right behind you." By magic the man was behind Severus, leaning over his shoulder and laughing softly.

"I killed you once I can do it again!" The professor spat the words as he spun to face the man who had been dead for 19 years.

Harry stared, the man was Severus's father, he recognized him from the portrait in the hall, Severus had said he'd killed him but was that possible? Something didn't seem right, Harry glanced around the room and caught a flash of movement on the very top level. He rushed up the levels and saw a very familiar face. Malfoy. The eldest one. (I can't spell his name and the school I'm typing in blocks all good sites except fan fiction) He was looking through the dusty bookcases. Harry glared at the man, he had used the illusion of Severus's father to distract him while he rifled through the papers in the file.

Below, all hell had broken loose. Severus was fighting his 'Father' and they seemed evenly matched. He looked desperate and ragged. His eyes though fierce were those of a child. It was as if he was 16 again and again fighting to save a life beyond his own, in a way he was, if he failed Harry couldn't return.

"Professor It's not real! Professor!" Harry yelled the words but Severus seemed beyond hearing. Harry knew this had to stop. Severus wasn't winning this time as Malfoy turned to the fight he seemed to be enjoying the show his smile grew and Harry realized what the man would soon do.

Harry ran down the levels and thrust himself between the two his eyes fixed on the Professor. "Please stop this, Sev! It's an illusion! Look up!" Harry yelled the words full of desperation. Malfoy had his wand out and was taking aim.

Severus heard through the sands of time the screams of that night the screams of death that had surrounded this fight. But through the mist of time a new sound reached his ears. 'Harry' the name wafted through his mind and shocked him back to reality.

"No, No, No!" Harry kept yelling as he watched the green bolt rush towards Severus. It was to him slow motion; the bolt was so slow in his mind.

Severus threw himself to the ground, and looked up. "Malfoy!"

Malfoy looked startled. "How did you like our revels, Severus?" He said with slime practically dripping off the words.

"Twisted as always." Severus spoke calmly. "But I do believe that you are trespassing in my house."

"House? Oh I was under the impression that this building was abandoned. You aren't living here. Technically you aren't supposed to be _living_ anywhere you were well beyond the shadow of death when we left you."

"Well, you forget that death isn't the end just a brand new beginning."

"The words of a fool, I don't know how you saw through my illusion, and frankly it doesn't matter to me. Take better care of your possessions, traitor you may lose something important." He threw a book on to the desk and dissaparated.

To Severus the only important thing in the room was what Malfoy couldn't see. He shook his head and sat down.

"Professor, what happened?" Harry asked, still wide eyed.

"You can guess who the illusion was right?" Severus said slowly, it looked like it was time to confess, he just hoped he wouldn't alienate Harry.

"Yes he was your father. I feel some unresolved tension here." Harry said with a slight smirk.

Severus smiled and laughed, "You could say that, I killed him."

Silence reigned "I was 16, there was a death eater raid, there was a little five year old and he was about to murder her, I couldn't let that happen, I fought him, in an ironic twist of fate all those lessons he taught me about fighting paid of and I won, in the end it didn't make all that much of a difference."

Harry lifted his hand to Severus's shoulder and despite his lack of substance he gave cold comfort to a man who had suffered and one he now looked up to and depended on.

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Hey that's it isn't it great! That was really dark and implied a lot sorry if it was too dark but hey! You didn't see that coming!

"Who shot that arrow in your throat who missed the crimson apple as it hung heavy in the tree above your head" _Wine Red_ – The Hush Sound


	11. Who is Mad?

Hey Guys! Sorry but a lot of stuff has happened at school and life in general. But I'm back now! A friend died at the beginning of the month. (I'll miss you shady) then I lost my key drive and school piled up so I just didn't have the motivation.

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Disclaimer: not mine

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**Phantom Hope**

It was only a few minutes later when Severus stood "We need to continue the search." He spoke calmly as if the fight had never taken place.

Harry nodded, his eyes dark, this was not a good place. They would stay only so long as was needed and no longer.

* * *

Minerva looked at Pomfrey, they were trying to ascertain just how they would "Help" Severus.

"When he gets back we need to take every precaution." Pomfrey said as she looked for the most effective stunner in a book.

"Are you sure that's necessary we don't know what kind of- of-of crazy, for lack of a better term, he is. He could be the harmless eccentric on the corner kind of crazy.

"Or he could become the snap your neck in half like a twig kind of crazy." Pomfrey ground out. "I have known that boy half his life and when he was in school there wouldn't be two days without him or someone he'd curse coming in, That boy had one nasty temper and was quick and creative with his wand." (ewww nasty thoughts)

"But surely that was when he was young …" Minerva was having a lot of trouble lining up the facts with what she knew of Severus. "He's so quiet now, doesn't bother people much, is only condescending to people who are true idiots or annoy him."

"It's always the quiet ones, Tom Riddle never bothered anyone either and he became Senor Psycho didn't he?" Pomfrey was pissed she'd never trusted Severus, at least not as completely as Albus. He trusted Severus blindly, and to him there was no doubt. But was that wise? The Snape name had been bloodied long before Severus's birth and there was little sign of it stopping. How many times had he come back from deatheater meetings and raids with more blood on him than could possibly be his. Often, he looked as if he had swam through blood, but hadn't needed her services. He had always scared her; he had cold eyes that held dark horrors. She never wanted to look him in the eyes.

Perhaps there was more than just concern for the school in her heart. She had a tendency to make up her mind about people and it wasn't just her, many people never saw the truth of Severus Snape for his guise was so complex he'd literally built an alternate self that matched him so well despite it's lies that many took it to be all there was, a thin veneer of grace over a rotten mottled shell of a human, they couldn't see the third layer the core of fiery emotions that had been doused down to embers but were never truly quenched. That was the truth the mask was not just veneer but also rotten and beauty upon gruesome hiding humanity was a perfect mask.

* * *

The mask had fallen for Severus Snape now as he contemplated the future; he'd let down his guard and had let the light he'd blocked off so long ago in. It had been like walking out of a dark room into the sun, the warmth had hit his face and sunk deeply into his soul. How could he expect himself to return to the shadows now? That was what would happen, the truth of it all was, that there could be no overlay and therefore no friendship or caring. They were worlds apart, the child he now cared for and himself. The only connection now was insubstantial a need in both of them to fix this wrong and return the world to it's correct state of being.

Severus was currently shuffling through a bookcase that was stacked high with scrolls, none were particularly interesting; There were spells for disembowelment, for cleaning up the blood leftover from a disembowelment and then to hide all traces of a disembowelment, gory but not interesting. He was thinking on this when he felt something; it was practically nothing, just a small incongruity in the wood but to Severus's heightened senses it was a huge difference. He leaned into to get a closer look and saw it was a thumbnail switch, nearly invisible even to Severus, but it was there. His breath hitched slightly and he went to open it before realizing the time, he was at his limit he would need to wait in order to be able to use the phasmis potion again safely.

"Harry, I found something," He spoke distractedly, absorbed at the sight of the small bit of wood and feeling pissed off that their time had run out "But we have to go back now, the potion will wear off soon and to be unable to communicate in a place such as this would be dangerous." That and he didn't really want to be stuck in the house after dark.

"Yeah that's right…" Harry wan't really paying attention he at first had been stunned at the use of his first name but then he'd glanced out the window across the grounds and saw the lengthening shadows it filled him with a dark melancholy and it scared him.

It was a breath of fresh air to return to the castle, there was no air of malevolence around the structure it felt like home… to Harry it was the only place that had ever felt like that and for Severus it was beginning to feel that way again after him being lost in his own misery for so long.

Severus felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and the familiar tensing of his muscles warned him danger was near. He walked up to the door and opened it slowly but he saw nothing, he told himself it was nothing but the feeling, just under his skin, that something was wrong just would not go away. It's just residual from returning to the manor today he repeated in his mind but there was still a creeping feeling around his muscles that made them tense in anticipation of some unknown foe. To bad that it was the known ally that would be the next to face him.

"Severus… I'm glad to see you've returned." Minerva said gracefully keeping her cool.

"Minerva." Severus bowed his head slightly in greeting and willed the tenseness in his muscles to go away this was a colleague maybe even a friend. Then why was every fiber in his body screaming danger? "Is there a reason for this conversation? Because I have a potion to brew before I turn in tonight."

"I just want to inquire as to your health; you've been acting quite strangely recently." Minerva really was stalling at this point, trying to keep him in the Main hall long enough for Pomfrey to finish preparations.

"Please, I have already talked to Albus about this, and though I know asking you to trust me would only raise suspicions I ask you to trust Albus." Severus stalked past her his robes billowing a little more than usual as his agitation at the unknown threat increased.

Minerva followed after him and unable to restrain herself she stopped him before he could enter the dungeon her conscience had won out, it was time to come clean. "Poppy found the list Severus."

Severus's mind froze at the words he had lost the list days ago and it had bothered him but if he had foreseen this coming from it he would have gone back to find it.

Minerva's worry increased as the silence grew and Severus said nothing. "Please Severus explain this, I want to believe that there's a clear logical reason for all of this and… I saw you in the Main Hall this morning… talking to yourself."

Severus didn't know what he was going to do, he couldn't think of a lie and he knew he wouldn't be believed, not when he had no proof.

"I… I… can't tell you anything Minerva; I know anything I say will be disregarded as I can tell you've already made up your mind." Severus said defeated.

It tore at Minerva to see the usually stoic and independent teacher look so upset and that he had so little faith. Minerva was about to continue when she saw the flash of metal behind the professor. Poppy. Minerva had completely forgotten about the nurse in her rush for answers.

"Severus!" Minerva exclaimed as the needle was directed toward his neck. Her yell was more out of guilt than of actual belief in what the man had said.

Severus turn on his heel effectively dodging all but the faintest scrape of the needle on his forearm. The scratch was enough though as the powerful anesthetic dulled the nerves in his arm and it hung limp beside him. With his good hand he grabbed Pomfrey's wrist and forcefully dragged her out of the shadows.

"What are you doing?!" Snape hissed the words through clenched teeth, whatever that sedative was it packed quick a punch even with a minimal dose in his blood it was hard to stay coherent.

"I'm trying to help you! Don't you see your sick! No sane man sees phantoms that don't exist. Potter is dead but your bloodied conscience can't move on because you helped cause his death!" She hissed the words angrily as she tried to pry his fingers from her wrist, she was scratching at his hands but he didn't even seem to feel it.

Severus's eyes had dilated and his heart had clenched at her words. Had he helped cause Potter's spectral state. If he had pushed for more information could he have stopped this? Severus's soul twisted at the thought of his actions in some part leading to the current situation. He had told himself it was his fault but to have it said out loud it wasn't just in his head. His chest felt heavy and it was hard to breath, was that the sedative or his own guilt pressing down onto his very core? He felt something besides guilt; it was almost panic, he realized now that the ingredients in the sedative were reacting to the heightened endorphins left over from the phasmis potion.

"What's going on? He was barely scratched by that syringe!" Minerva was afraid now: Severus's eyes had dilated and his breath was short quick gasps, he was obviously not in a good state.

"I had upped the dose of the tranqulizer but it shouldn't be doing this unless there was something else in his system. Still, if there was something itwould have to be some odd ingredients to have this effect." Pomfrey, having disengaged herself from Severus's grip when this 'attack' started, checked his pulse; it was racing. "His heart rate is way too fast." Pomfrey said, biting her lip.

"Potion…." Severus gasped out the words between pained breaths "Alter… brain chemistry… seizing…. Paralysis…antidote…adrenals…adenol (A/N Made up)…infusion… thirty minutes." He allowed the wall to catch him as he sat, he needed to conserve energy now.

"What? Was that a self diagnosis?" Minerva had only understood the first half of what he had said, having no medical experience.

"If what he's saying is right, then it's a simply matter of reversing the reactions, were my sedative knocked him down the adrenals will pick him back up." Poppy mused as she searched a bag of chemicals that she'd gotten the sedative from.

"And… and the Adenol was it?" Minerva recalled the other chemical Severus had stated.

"I don't know, that's a simple chemical in the amino family used to store energy and transmit signals to the brain it's used in several potions as a catalyst to initiate the reaction. If he needs that I wouldn't know why, but I don't see how it could hurt him either." Poppy was a healer even if she didn't like Severus Snape, or thought he was insane she was ethically bound to help him, and since she had no idea what as going on she had to trust his diagnosis.

Harry was terrified (A/N You thought I forgot him didn't you?) Severus had been about to yell at Pomfrey and then he started to seemingly shut down. He was now simply sitting his eyes closed, sweat starting to bead on his forehead, as he tried too regulate his breathing. Harry could tell this wasn't good. Helplessness filled him as he watched Pomfrey fumble with her chemicals. She had to hurry they'd wasted time talking about the chemicals, he thought.

Harry was really starting to care about the man many people thought was so easily detestable. Severus had become a sort of guardian trying to help him. A guardian and a friend, He was able to talk to Severus about things he hadn't even mentioned to his friends. Snape understood what Harry had gone through with the Dursley's, he knew the feelings of having every eye glare at you, they were different yes, but more alike than anyone would have thought possible.

Pomfrey inserted the syringe in Severus's right arm. The vital chemicals draining into his system, the results were almost immediate, his pulse leveled out, and his breathing regulated. He slowly opened his eyes and stood trying to regain some of his lost composure.

He wiped a hand quickly across his brow, " Thank you. Now I would like an explanation of what is going on here." Severus tried hard to remain calm this day had brought forth an entire emotional spectrum and now Severus was trying to keep control of emotions he hadn't felt in years.

"We…………." Minerva agonized over what to say this was not going to be pretty, "We thought you had gone insane, maybe that you still are."

Severus almost laughed, "Insane! That's what this is all about? I can tell you now that I've never had a firmer grip on reality."

"Then why were you talking to yourself earlier?" Minerva questioned, "That isn't normal behavior."

"Have you ever heard of _Phasmtis deligo_ ?" Severus questioned the two women.

Minerva and Pomfrey stared at him for a moment the question seemed quite random.

"The Soul Bind Technique?" Minerva hazarded a guess.

"Yes, but do you know what it does?" Severus looked at Minerva as she the most likely to know the answer.

Minerva puzzled over the question doubtless she'd heard of it before but she could not remember where or when. "I'm afraid I can't remember."

"Quiet understandable most people don't, basically it's a sacrifice technique, the caster gives up his ability to cast or with some spells his life they mostly deal with the destruction and manipulation of the soul, these techniques can be even more dangerous than the unforgivable curses."

"Then why have I never heard of them?" Poppy was a cynical soul at times and this was no exception.

"They've been forbidden and locked away for years, most people believe they've been destroyed, if they knew they ever existed in the first place." Severus said scathingly he had little patience for the nurse now. He was tired and personally, he didn't feel like staying up and explaining spells to a nurse and a teacher.

"The _Phasmatis Deligo _is a spell that rips a soul from its host body and leaves it to wander endlessly, I believe that spell caused the second spike of power at the attack sight." Severus said talking more to Minerva rather than Pomfrey.

"Then Potter could be…" She trailed off amazed at the prospect.

"Yes, I didn't want to say anything without proof but I've already confirmed the fact that it has happened and now needs to be reversed." Severus allowed himself one small smile at the hopeful joy shining on Minerva's face.

"Have you truly confirmed it?" Minerva asked, not daring to hope to much.

"Mostly I still need to find the spells original text tomorrow." Snape conceded the fact, that he hadn't completely solved the problem.

"I want to help you." Minerva said with a conviction in her voice that said she was coming one way or the other.

"We wil see about that tomorrow first I am going to bed, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow in my quarters around 7:00 A.M.?" Severus said, already walking away.

"Of Course" Minerva said with a smirk, Severus already knew that with or without the invitation she would have shown up, she was that determined to help.

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Wow! This chapter is twice as long as usual I hope you like it. I think the scene with Pomfrey and Minerva is kinda lame but I couldn't think of any other way to put it what do you think? Tell me in a review. P.S. I made up most of the madical stuff though in theory it could work.

"He struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross, He likes to be known as the angry young man" –Billy Joel


	12. Found and Lost

Hey it's been a long time hasn't it? Lots of excuses, none of them particularly convincing, since it's summer and I should be updating more, but oh well… I'll give you the chapter now.

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Disclaimer: If it were all mine why would I be typing a disclaimer?

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**Phantom Hope**

Minerva glanced at the watch she held tightly in her hands, 7:15, to most this is mildly late but to punctual people like Severus and Minerva, this was frustrating. Especially considering the important task that needed to be completed.

Harry gritted his teeth as Professor McGonagall knocked on the door, loudly and for what seemed to be the fiftieth time, was it his fault that Severus hadn't woken up? But he was the one paying for it, the noise was, he believed, one of the most annoying he had ever heard, right up there with nails on a chalkboard. It would be so annoying if it weren't for the fact that it constantly reminded him he couldn't open the damn door himself. Harry laughed darkly, "The one time I actually want to be seen by a teacher outside of class…" He muttered as he once again paced the small space and glanced toward the door to Severus's sleeping quarters, even invisible Harry didn't dare to spy, not that he was curious about what was behind that door anyway.

Snape, however, was finally returning to consciousness, he had been much more drained from all of the actions yesterday than he'd thought, he glared blearily at his alarm clock (Magically Run?) as it offended him by blaring out it's message of a new day, As Snape's vision cleared and he saw the time he was immediately more shocked than most because he hadn't been late for a meeting, ever, and it was upsetting that he had become so fallible so quickly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he quickly sat up, sighed, and quickly prepared for the day.

Even at his fastest it was 7:30 before he reached the door, and he mentally apologized to Harry, who would have been listening to this the entire time. "I apologize for my lateness," he muttered as Minerva glanced around the room she had just entered "Good Morning." He added, almost as an afterthought.

Minerva was surprised by the warmth of the rooms there was none of the cold professor in his possessions, but somehow it still fit him very well. She glanced around very aware that she was likely one of very few people who had actually seen this inner sanctum.

"Is my furniture so very interesting to you Minerva." Snape drawled the words as a smirk crossed his face but there was no malice in his usually acid tongue. Only a bit of mischief sparkling in his eyes as he watched the older Professor try to recover from the sensory overload that had resulted from the clash of his personality and his habitat.

"No, just different from what I expected." Minerva spoke calmly there was clearly more to the young Professor than anyone expected.

"Did you expect me to have stone tables laden with strange potions Minerva?" He asked sardonically.

"To be honest, yes." Minerva said.

Harry laughed at this, to be honest it's what he to had expected as well, but the vision he now held clashed so ridiculously with what he had once believed that it was funny to him.

"Come now Minerva, we can't stand here discussing my choice of décor all day can we?" He smiled, a rare enough occurrence bur even rarer was that it was sincere; a simple smile that simply conveyed a state of mind, no conscious effort was put into it at all.

Severus led her into his workroom, here were the tables laden with strange potions, cauldrons simmered as the potions within reached various steps of completion. Once Snape stepped into this room he was all business he swept over to a small cauldron that sat on a table, "This," he drew her to the table "is the phasmis potion that allows me to see him."

She leaned over the pale blue liquid as it swirled, "Will it work for me as well?" She turned to him, and the question hung heavy in the air.

"I don't think so," He sighed, this wasn't helping, there was no real way to make this work, "The _Phasmis Deligo_ was developed by my family over a century ago, developed for our use only, a guarded secret like so many families have, it was hidden when the ministry tried to seize all the texts relating to sacrifice techniques."

"Then it only works for you." Minerva sounded annoyed; she had hoped to talk with Harry, she had missed the boy more than she thought possible, true he attracted trouble but there was always purpose, a meaning, to what he did. When you talked to him, you could sense it, conviction, to his life, loyalty, to his friends, and overall an unwavering sense of right and wrong, that truly set him apart from all the others.

"I truly am sorry, but if this works you'll be able to see Potter sooner than you think" Severus poured the potion and this time swallowed with far more dignity than the last time. He led the way and before long they found themselves outside Severus' childhood home once again.

Minerva shuddered as Severus strode up the dark steps; even in summer it felt cold here, dark and painful, as shadows seemingly reached for her from the darkest corners of the damned building.

"Professor, What was Malfoy here for before?" Harry asked, remembering the elder Malfoy's 'revels' from the other day.

"He most likely wasn't here for anything specific, rather looking through what was here for anything useful." Snape answered the question offhandedly as he approached the raging inferno once more.

"What?" Minerva asked cluelessly, having heard none of Harry's question.

"Lucius Malfoy was here yesterday and was going through the items in my fathers study. There was a bit of a scuffle and he left, Mr. Potter asked why he was here and what he had wanted." Severus explained as he once again turned the doorknob to hell.

" A scuffle? It looks more like a battle took place." Minerva pointed out looking at the scorched remnants of a tapestry that had been ruined in the fight.

Severus shrugged, "This is the bookcase were I found a thumbnail switch yesterday, rather ironic choice considering that my father hated anything muggle."

"Rather ingenious really," Minerva observed, "no one would expect him to use something so iniquitous and out of sync with the rest of the house."

Severus nodded "My Slytherins last year chose 'Abra Kedabra' as their password because no one would expect something so ridiculous."

Harry snorted at the choice of password and was about to comment on it when Severus flipped the switch. The bookshelf slid back to revel a small room, piled high with dusty and forbidden volumes. Harry's eye grew wide at the sheer volume of scrolls in the tiny room and was suddenly very glad for Professor McGonagalls presence, she would considerably speed up sorting through all of this.

Several hours of sorting later, everyone felt strained for results. Harry had been told that he was no longer allowed to sort through the scrolls anymore when several fairly hideous torture manuals were found. Minerva had had to flee the room for a few moments to regain her composure before returning. Severus had stayed, but his mind felt weary with the knowledge of the horrors one man could cause unto another.

It was by sheer happenstance that the scroll was uncovered, it was among a pile of various painful curses and Minera was about to discard the whole lot of them when she noticed the seal on the paper, a wand entwined by two snakes, bearing a strong resemblance to the Caduceus used by medics and healers the world over. She picked it up and opened it, gasping at the contents

_The Most sacred of spells The Phasmis Deligo_

_A dark technique and final punishment for the darkest offenders_

_Developed by the Snape family to create unending misery for the vilest creatures upon this earth may they never find the pity of the forces waiting for us in the next life._

Minerva's hands shook as she held the scroll this was what they'd been searching for. Much of the text was in Latin and too complex for her to understand, but it had been found.

Severus' eyes scanned the aged text, quickly translating the Latin that covered the page to English. He read aloud "Should the greatest sin be committed and an innocent man be condemned to wander, the blood of the Snape line shall be spilt to pay for the offense and his fate shall be chosen by the intent of his acts. Should he be judged pure his life will be spared but be judged tainted and his life shall be forfeit to the torments of his sins."

Severus looked up; he heard a choked sob from the entrance of the room and turned to see Harry standing there tears running down his face. "I won't do it Severus, not at that price I don't care how much of a chance there is, I won't let you waste your life to help me! My time should have been up long before now but you still have a chance, I'm not worth it!" Harry turned and fled down the dark corridors.

"Damn it!" Severus swore as he ran after him. Harry was being so foolish, Severus had no illusions about the judgment, he had done too much to be seen as pure, but if he was to be damned he'd rather damn himself helping someone who truly deserved it rather than continuing a life… no an existence that made no difference to the suffering of others. Severus Snape had no one, but Harry Potter had so many souls that needed him back. This sacrifice was a small loss and a necessary one.

"What is going on Severus?" Minerva called out from behind him.

"Harry didn't like what he heard and took off, I have to find him!" Severus yelled back as his pursuit was fueled by a fire he'd thought to be long dead within him.

Minerva sat down with her head tilted back. She needed to clear her thoughts, she understood that this house had traps built into it, Tobias Snape had been a paranoid bastard and to follow in these halls would be suicide, she also know that Severus only had so long to find Harry, if the potion wore off before he found him, Harry might be lost to the labyrinth of corridors that made up the large manor.

Harry had no idea where this corridor led or how many he had passed through in his short and desperate flight. He only knew that the last shred of purity had fled from him after the third task and there was no way that bringing him back was a pure deed, not when death surrounded him. He wouldn't let Severus play Russian roulette to save him. The man meant too much to him and he had seen how much Professor Dumbledore cared and he didn't want to hurt him anymore.

Severus was worried he was thirty minutes away from his deadline and he was trying to think where Harry would go, someplace he felt safe was choice one. But in this distressing setting where would anyone feel safe? What would be familiar to Harry? The only place in this place that didn't hold the stench of death was…. Of course! Harry had spent so much of his time around Severus' rooms that the only place that he'd be able to feel connected to Hogwarts would be Severus' own room. He skidded to a halt in front of the door that led to his room. It was just like he'd left it, the bed had the same forest green sheets the floor had the same pale blue carpeting. Harry sat in the middle of this memorial to childhood innocence, curled up with dry tears clinging to his eyes.

Severus moved to his side, sitting down in the same position and just letting the silence cover them both. He waited letting Harry set the pace.

"I don't want to lose this." Harry said without looking away from the point in space he was focusing on.

"You have to come back, Harry," Severus said keeping his eyes focused on that same point in space, "Your friends miss you and need you and we've come too far to abandon all of it.

"I don't want to lose you." Harry muttered as he closed his eyes tight so he wouldn't see Severus' reaction, why should Severus care?

Severus' mind sat stunned unable to process this thought. Since his mind couldn't think of anything intelligible his heart answered instinctively, "You won't, no matter how this all turns out, I'll always be on your side, always."

Harry opened emerald eyes and stared at him, only one other person had said this to him, Sirius had felt the same thing and now Severus to. They cared; there had been a time when he was young that he had thought that, perhaps, he was unlovable, the Dursley's would glare at him and Harry could feel the sting of their hate and be certain he was unlovable and that one day he'd wake to find himself utterly alone. Now, two people had pledged to be by his side, two men who couldn't stand the sight of each other had found space in their hearts to care for the child who'd believed himself to be unlovable.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, "For putting you through all of this, sorry that such a burden has been placed on you. But mostly I'm sorry for not believing in you enough to know I could trust you."

"No need for apology Harry," Severus smiled at him "I suggest we leave now I only have five minutes left to see."

As they walked back to Minerva, Severus' heart felt lighter, He would lose much in the coming days when he would perform the phasmatis ritual but he had found his heart again, he had found acceptance in the eyes of the child who'd had most reason to shun him. This state of life where he could see clearly what his course would be, he could see the end in front of him but for once the path was light and he did not fear the finale as he always had before.

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WOW! I love myself right now for this, I really do, I spent so much time on this and I worked so hard on it. Review and make all my work worthwhile. Please! 

"Memories seep from my veins let me be empty oh weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight." 'In the Arms of an Angel' Sarah Mclachlan


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